Zierota

It’s better if you let me go as I have let you go. We were once great and I am painfully going to miss the good times. But now it seems I am no longer needed nor wanted. It’s okay. I am getting used to such a lovely experience now. It no longer hurts. It may tickle a little.

I used to enjoy your singing. Now it makes me vomit. I used to laugh out loud just by little funny words you’ve shared or the way you made things sound. I used to believe you really wanted more of me than just that pretty face that people cannot see beyond. I used to believe you could see that heart I had beating for you. But now if you look at it, you can only see a dark cloud surrounding it with a field of thorny rose bushes. Yes my darling, no more roses. In those bramble fields, I was growing lots of them for you. When they died, I hated myself. But they were my roses after all. My roses are dead. As well as the motivation for growing new ones.

I used to believe I found some one who understood me, my complexities, my simplicities, my genuineness, my drive for honesty, my dreams, my taste, my way of rolling. I used to believe I could matter, as I thought you mattered too. But all I see is how you wish to be treated as a goddess, for the sake of feeling special and worshipped. I have gotten the impression you lacked the ability to provide this for yourself. This reason to feel like you matter to you. I take it you depend on how the other makes you feel.
This makes me sad and at the same time it makes me realise that I already have such an experience in my back-pack of life. I am glad that I am spared for another one. Thank you so much for doing this to me and showing how you’re doing it to some one else. It saves me all the trouble.

When I turn around and start my new journey, it is better if you don’t look at it. There is nothing I want you to see or learn from me. You once called me genuine and honest. I never claim to be these things but thanks. I shall stick to the promise of staying with those two things because that makes me feel special and that is what I can provide myself as I do not need the other. Young lady, I am grateful to have met you. I once had reason to care. Does this go for you too? I guess I will never know.

Imagine all the fucks I could have given. No wait! I’ve only given pixels.

I would never treat you as a god or a goddess. If I’m given enough reason to love you so much, I’d treat you as good as I treat my mother and she can tell you all about it. Though they say “Mother is the name of God on the lips and hearts of all children”, still she prefers me to treat her as an equal. As a person, as a caring friend, as a sister, as lovely as much as I wished I could have loved you. I never want any one to treat me as a god or goddess. It would make me feel lonely and pushed away. Shake my hand and I’ll show you my world, if you care enough to show me yours.
I know you want to feel special as much as every one else, but who needs an other to feel special if you can make yourself feel special already? Aren’t we all special already? I don’t want you to make me feel special, but when the ship is ours… the team we form is that special feeling no one can take away.
Worship does not make me feel special. It makes me feel rejection for who I really am. I am no king nor queen and I’d love it if I’m not treated this way. It is also not what I seek in the other, this desire to feel special and worshipped. It’s what lover boys do when they groom their targets. It’s disgusting.

Thank you, MrRagingAgain (or should I call you mr. Rape Shamer Again?) Thank you for admitting to know that FelidaTheGeek ran TemoinsGirl off youtube for no fucking reason other than a personal grudge. Thank you for admitting that you wanted to do the same to me. True colours were already shown but this is just the bonus you have given.

You guys are all the same and you deserve each other. When people reveal vulnerability, you are drawn to it like flies. Yes, little Marco. I know you want me dead. By all means, give it your best shot. I remember how you cried like a bitch when muslims came after you on Youtube, after you played internet-badass to them. Yet when it comes to rape shaming a good friend of mine, you see no problem breaking all promises you’ve ever made to a friend and you take pride in hurting the people who once cared for even a little boy like yourself.

I know you would dance on my grave after you watching me kill myself when friends, ex-friends and their blind followers would drive me to suicide. I know you are that type of a person. I know you fear confrontation with people you broke and played with their feelings. Every one knows. Every… body… knows. Except your mother, who should be aware of your actions and behaviour. I take it she tried her very best to turn you into that sweet boy that you wished you could be in public, but I’m afraid she failed to reach out to you when shut yourself for every one else, except your own pride. You’ve got quite a track record of a shitty internet history. But at least it’s not as bad as FelidaTheGeek or Neece.

So AsheisTheRaven made the claim that I or the AoD mocked his supposed dead girlfriend yet zero evidence is provided…
Oh well who needs evidence if you have a personal army that believes every word you say?
Interesting thing is that when he kicked me when I was down, he had the chance to confront himself with me on this topic but he didn’t…
Yes he knows he’s full of shit.

I don’t send people when they send themselves.

God where did I hear that before….? was it Romance of the Three Kingdoms?